I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize