You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
