Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
