You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
