Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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