You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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