It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
