I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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