In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
