Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It's never too late to be topless.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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