Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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