so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
