I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize