I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
