when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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