He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
