Fuck appropriateness.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
time to smoke my breakfast
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
