Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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