Can i not drive my cunt home
she was so not down for the gang bang
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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