He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
