sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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