my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
