i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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