You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
