Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i out mim tonsoeep
I see more hoeing in ur future
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