I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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