Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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