What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
