The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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