I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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