it was like his penis was on wheels.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
