I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
