I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
