Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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