Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
