Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
