Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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