so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
