I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
