dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize