My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
