Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
