think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize