You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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