why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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