Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
