I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
