ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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