so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
