We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
