Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
