the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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