Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
