LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
