I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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