Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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