i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Edward fifth and chaser hands
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
