Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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