what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
