so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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