if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize