I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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