its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
