i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize
