Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
well you can't waste a boner
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize