Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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