we're blogging at a bar
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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