tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
