If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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