He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
